What is non-negotiable?
At Justin’s Place during our sessions, there are very few things that are NON-NEGOTIABLE! I believe this is something that is taken for granted at other places providing services for children with varying abilities. Often as adults I think we assume that children can’t/shouldn’t throw gravel, they shouldn’t/can’t sit on the ground, they shouldn’t/can’t change the plan, they shouldn’t/can’t scream when happy, they shouldn’t/can’t put a toy in their mouth….. at Justin’s Place our only true NON-NEGOTIABLE is safety. Other that than that, we request reconciliation or reparative action (ex: saying sorry, cleaning up, learning about empathy) for damaging property, people or animals but that doesn’t stop us from moving on, having fun & providing excellent services! This is what being very negotiable looks like at Justin’s Place:
Want to throw gravel? Let’s go find a safe place to do that. Against a gate? Wow, that makes a cool noise huh?!
Want to sit on the ground barefoot? No horses around so it’s safe. Let’s do it!
Want to scream when you’re excited? Let’s count to 3 and do it together!
Not feeling the plan you picked out today? That’s okay! Let’s change it!
Want to put a toy in your mouth because that’s how you experience the world? We’ll double check with mom/dad’s preference and let it happen!
Often times I watch others interact with our kids and I see them assume that things are no-no’s and I find myself asking “why?”. The majority of the time there is no answer or because the behavior is not “socially acceptable”. At Justin’s Place we just want to accept our kiddos in the full entirety of who they are and what they enjoy. We want to step into THEIR way of experiencing the world instead of forcing them into OUR way of experiencing the world.
I’d love to challenge you when working with any child. . . before you say “no, don’t do that” or “ssshhhh” or “stop that” . . . pause and ask yourself why? If it’s not harming anyone or anything, let it go! Sit back and watch in gratefulness that you have a little one to help you experience the world in an immersive and present way.
Pictured here is a kiddo following his riding lesson, who was set on playing with his favorite toy in our staff office window! I think most centers or instructors would speak before thinking and say “No, we can’t play in the staff office, let’s go back outside.” Pause. But WHY?! This should not be a non-negotiable. I gave him freedom to lead and followed him into the office. We played, imagined, and laughed for 15 minutes. This resulted in building further rapport and trust with my participant, and an opportunity for free-play & building developmental skills in a safe & supportive environment.
The more you… let go! …the more you grow.